Breaking Traditions
by Rachel-DI
Summary: It's Christmas. Lois is fightinf her feelings for Clark, she's vulnerable and he is there for her.


BREAKING TRADITIONS

Okay, this was depressing.

Lois Lane sighed. She was at the outside of the Talon's front door, leaning against the cold wall, with her arms crossed around her chest.

It was freezing cold.

Christmas songs were playing on the inside of the coffee house, as well as a lot of Christmas lights. A small crowd was in there dancing, drinking, eating and having fun. But even though she had helped organizing the party, Lois didn't feel like having one.

Christmas had never been a celebrated holiday since her mother had died. The General was usually away on his expeditions around the world. Lucy always managed to run away from the celebrations. Therefore, it was usually Lois and other two empty chairs. All by herself.

Just like tonight, standing out there, in the cold.

She had only helped to arrange the party because Mrs. Kent had taught her into, along with Chloe and Jimmy.

"C'mon," they had said. "We'll have fun."

Lois only did it because she loved both so much, and they were so excited about it. But there was another reason too, a reason she, lately (and slowly), had been starting to admit to herself.

She did it to run away from certain thoughts – other things that were happening to her body and her heart. Specially her heart.

Lois shook her head, frustrated.

_You're not start with that shit all over again, are you?_

She rolled her eyes.

She knew he had always been able to get into her. But never in _that_ way.

She knew she couldn't help it. And the worse: there was a part of Lois telling her that she secretly loved it.

And she did.

Lois sighed once again. When exactly she had started to have feelings for him? Yeah, that's right. _Him_. Who she had affectionately nicknamed 'Smallville'.

Clark Kent. The Farmboy, a wonderful man with a breathtaking smile, the kindest heart she had ever seen and the only one who had the amazing ability to get through her walls.

But maybe that was not entirely what was bothering Lois – just a part of it. Maybe she was feeling that anxious not just because she had been having feelings for him. But because he had been falling for her as well.

During the past months, he didn't seem to get tired of dropping several hints to her – anvils, actually – about that fact. Lois rolled her eyes. As if she hadn't noticed that already.

She smiled. He was kind of obvious sometimes. And so was her. At first, she went through a phase of denial. _Serious_ denial. Then, she got over it and tried to admit it to herself: she was having feelings for him. _Serious_ feelings. There wasn't just attraction between them, it was something more, something she couldn't quite figure out. Or maybe she was afraid to.

The banter, the bickering, the arguing, all the old characteristics of their friendship were still there. Only the flirting had become risky. Truly risky. She hadn't enough fingers to count how many times they had found themselves dangerously close to each other, sharing teasing smiles that quickly faded into staring contests. In fact, she was already getting used to the butterflies on her stomach everytime he looked at her.

"What are you doing freezing out here?"

Or maybe she hadn't.

Lois turned her head to the side to look at Clark.

"Freezing." she answered, matter-of-factly, picking all of her thoughts and securely locking them in a safe box, inside her mind.

"Yes, I can see that." said Clark, raising an eyebrow, putting his hands into his pockets. "C'mon, I came here to get you inside. You're gonna get a cold if you stay out here."

"Don't care." said Lois, shrugging and turning her look away from him.

_Go away... go away…_, she silently asked.

She hated how he was capable of catching her on her most vulnerable moments.

"Well, I care, and I don't want to see you sick. C'mon, let's go." he said. She jerked her arm away at his gentle touch.

"No." she crossed her arms, still not looking at him. Why couldn't he just go away, and let her alone with her thoughts (even if they were about him)?

Clark rolled his eyes. "You're so childish sometimes, you know that?"

"And you're so annoying sometimes, you know that?" she replied, rolling her eyes as well. He walked closer to her and leaned against the wall as well, by her side.

"Okay. I'm not leaving until you get back in there with me."

Lois bit back a smile. "Suit yourself."

They fell into silence.

She didn't want to go inside and see all those people having fun. She wasn't having fun. She couldn't. She had so many things on her mind… besides, no matter how many years had passed already, her mother's death would always be a pain for Lois.

She crossed her arms.

"You okay?" asked Clark, and Lois noticed he had been watching her.

"Yeah, I'm just… I'm fine."

"What? Tell me." he insisted, leaning only his right shoulder against the wall, so he could look straightly at her.

"Nothing, it's just…" Lois thought about a way of telling him without saying too much. "I helped organizing this party, but I don't even feel like participating of it. I mean, you can tell, I'm not exactly having loads of fun."

"And why would that be?"

Lois looked at him. "I just have a lot of my mind right now."

After a fraction of second while Clark tried to see through her eyes, he said "So have I. But hey, I was in there, listening music and drinking---by the way, your eggnog is really good."

"See, _there_ is one thing I can do without burning." said Lois, laughing. Clark laughed as well.

"The _only_ thing, I'd say." he teased. Lois uncrossed one arm and punched him in the arm.

"Funny, Kent, but true." She crossed them again. She looked at the sky, where several flakes of snow were beginning to fall from. "I just… Christmas has never been quite like a celebration to me. Dad was always away, and Lucy often managed to escape, so I usually ended up eating all by myself."

Clark gave her a comforting look. "Well, you're not alone anymore. You have plenty of people in there who were asking for you. Including me."

"Well, congratulations, you found me." she said, low.

"Yeah, I did. Now come on. I know Christmas is hard – believe me, _I know_. It was Dad's favorite holiday." She smiled at him, sympathetically. "But it can also be wonderful if you just let it in." Lois looked at him. He was facing her with a strange expression on his face. With something else in his eyes. "A lot of things and a lot of people can be wonderful if you just let them in."

Lois tried hard no to gulp, but failed it. Clark smiled with the corner of his mouth when he noticed it.

"Yeah." she agreed, fixing her gaze at the sky again. "But there are also a lot of things that are hard to deal with, especially when they're new. And unknown. So, sometimes, it gets pretty hard to let them in." Surprised with her own words, Lois refused to let herself look at him.

"And there are times when you'll find out that you have to stop struggling against these things and surrender." Clark said, sounding a little guttural. Lois bit her lip. "Believe me, I've been there."

She took a deep breath and turned to look directly at him. As soon as their eyes met, she felt her knees about to fail.

Lois kicked herself mentally. She felt a burning on the corner of her eyes.

It was so hard. He was her friend. Best friend, actually. She had never had such a good friend like him. What if they ruined it all?

That was the question disturbing her sleep over the past months. Didn't he understand? She was crazy to throw herself on his arms. But she was afraid. What if it was something they could never come back from? What if was deeper than she thought it was? Because that was certainly how it felt like.

They stared at each other, in a silent discussion.

No, they would wait a little longer to do something about it. Maybe it was too soon. They would wait. At least until they were ready to admit their feelings out loud. And to each other. Lois's heart jumped at the perspective.

"So, it's cold, huh?" he said, a bit awkwardly, rubbing his hands and staring at the snow.

Lois chuckled. He looked back at her and chuckled as well.

He was adorable.

And hot.

Lois rolled her eyes.

He smiled.

Oh, that smile did things to her.

"Now, come on, Lois, let's just go inside. You can just drink some of your own eggnog." he said. She raised one eyebrow.

"Trying to get me drunk, Smallville?" Lois teased, smirking, while they walked towards the Talon's front door.

"Nah, your eggnog is not _that _good." he joked. "Besides, I wouldn't be that jerk, I know you can get drunk all by yourself, believe me, I've seen it---"

She gasped.

"Lois?" asked Clark, worried. She had a look of absolute fear on her face. Clark faced her, frowning. "What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said, quickly. "Let's just go in!"

Clark raised an eyebrow and bit back a smile. She was nearly squeaking.

"Lois, what's going on?"

"_Nothing_, now _GO_ _inside_---"

She briefly glanced at the top of the door, right above their heads. Anyone else wouldn't have noticed it. But Clark Kent wasn't anyone else.

He followed her gaze, and couldn't help but gasp too.

"Mistletoe." He hoarsely managed to say, after three excruciating minutes of silence.

"Uhum," agreed Lois, looking anywhere but him. Clark, on the other hand, couldn't keep his eyes off her.

"Um, you know, we…don't have to do this…" he said, when he saw the panic on her face.

"Not really..."

"I mean, Christmas traditions, they're just---"

"---stupid." she completed. Clark nodded.

"Yeah."

"I mean, we're the new generation, we're supposed to… break traditions!"

"Absolutely."

They faced each other.

"So!" Lois interrupted the silence with a squeaky voice, moving towards the door. "I'm gonna go inside."

She had always hated Christmas traditions. And now she hated them even more. Because this was one of the times she was dying to follow them. But that was stupid, that was a very bad idea.

Or at least that's what she thought until she felt Clark grab her right arm and turn her around.

With her heart on her throat, Lois felt him firmly enlacing her waist and pulling her close to him, making their bodies collide.

Their lips were barely touching.

"Smallville…" she mumbled, weakly.

She felt her knees about to fail when Clark leaned in and brushed his lips against hers, softly.

And when Lois felt herself opening her own lips in invitation was when she noticed things were getting a bit out of hand.

It was also when Clark suddenly stepped away.

He didn't kiss her.

Lois wanted to yell at him and thank him at the same time.

"Okay, what the hell was that?" she asked, managing to find her voice somewhere.

He was grinning. "I broke a tradition."

Lois frowned and laughed, her heartbeat coming back to normal. "How is that breaking a tradition? There was mistletoe right above our heads!"

Clark's beam grew wider. "Yeah, but I didn't kiss you, did I?"

He smiled once again and went inside, leaving a very troubled Lois Lane standing outside the door, looking after him.

After a few moments, she smirked.

Now, that was one hell of a way to break a tradition.


End file.
